


Cowabunga

by SadLeaf (whoalev)



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Gen, i love these boys so much, there are turtles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-21
Updated: 2018-09-21
Packaged: 2019-07-15 05:49:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16056821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whoalev/pseuds/SadLeaf
Summary: “Ned.”“Yes.”“Why are there ten turtles in our bathtub?”“Uhh, well you see.”________based on the au prompt thing“What do you mean we can’t buy ten turtles the landlord said small pets were okay” AU





	Cowabunga

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back, with more commas and page breaks than ever before ! 
> 
>  
> 
> I don't want to look at this mess anymore so I'm just going to go ahead and post it  
> this was supposed to be like 500 words max but and then i had an idea yeah idk y'all 
> 
> also for the sake of my sanity ignore the events of civil war & infinity war & pretend everyone is alive, happy, and living their best lives. 
> 
> & as always all mistakes are mine. I swear I stared at this and tired my best to edit this.  
> if you see anything that is just too much for you totally let me know down in the comments  
> Thank you and enjoy !! <3

After a long day of classes and having to deal with his job at the Daily Bugle, Peter was tired and very hungry- hangry if you will. All he wanted after the long day was a nice bowl of hot steaming something and to lay down in his sweet, sweet passably comfortable, but warm bed. Thoughts of going on patrol later on that night were on an indefinite hold. After an intervention with Aunt May, MJ, and Ned, Peter was learning that yeah, he was Spider-Man, but even Spider-Man had his limits. He hated to admit it but going to college and Spider-Maning full time was getting to Peter. He was one swing away from face planting into a wall.

Closing the front door Peter was ready to face-plant onto the Star-Wars welcome mat when he saw a small turtle crawling by his shoe. That was wired. He’d occasionally see a roach or two but he’d never seen a turtle of all things, crawling about the small apartment he shared with his best friend now roommate Ned. Blinking twice really hard Peter shook his head and realized that he wasn’t hallucinating, it was an actual tiny turtle, a Red-Eared Slider like the one's he's seen in every pet store he's ever walked in.

Carefully picking up the little guy, Peter kicked off his shoes by the mat and walked into living room/kitchen setup the apartment had going on, only to see four more tiny turtles crawling about. Two were racing into the kitchen and the other two were chilling on the couch. Letting out a great big sigh, Peter picked up the two racing turtles and then knocked back into the hand me down couch next to the others and called out.  
  
“NED!”  
  
“In the bathroom Peter!” was all he got back.  
  
Peter contemplated getting up from the couch, but he was already firmly sunken in enough that getting up would be too much work, plus he could already feel his eyelids wanting to close on their own accord. Placing the three turtles in his hands on his chest Peter let himself drift off just for a quick second. 

“Hey Peter!”  
  
Jolting up from the couch Peter felt the turtles fly off his chest heart racing he reached out just in time to catch the no doubt horrified little guys. Peter made sure he didn't harm the turtles and then firmly glared at Ned.  
  
“Ned what the hell man? Why would you scream in my ear like that while I was asleep?” cradling the poor turtles to his chest Peter glared at his best friend who in return shrugged looking very unforgiving.  
  
“Dude, it’s been literally like four minutes,” Ned slowly reached out towards Peters chest, “You couldn’t have been that far asleep, I heard when the door opened.” when he grabbed at the turtles Peter let go immediately, letting Ned take the poor things plus the other two that were still chilling on the cushion next to him back into the bathroom.  
  
Honestly. Peter didn't want to know. He really just didn’t want to care. The only reason why Peter was making his way into the bathroom behind Ned was because he knew at some point he would like to use it and he didn’t want to be surprised by whatever it was that Ned was doing in it with _turtles_.  
  
Unsurprisingly Peter was surprised.  
  
“Ned.”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
“Why are there ten turtles in our bathtub?”  
  
“Uhh, well you see.”  
  
And Ned went on this whole story about how he was walking back to the apartment when he walked by a weird guy hanging out by just outside the entrance to an alleyway a block or two away. He was holding a box and when Ned walked by the guy had asked if he wanted a turtle for a dollar. Ned was like, “A turtle for a dollar?”  
  
The strange man said, “Yeah man a turtle a dollar. I got ten of ‘em.”  
  
Ned was going to say no thanks, he really was. Yet when he looked into the guys box, the turtles where crawling about, some on top of each other, others trying to crawl up the box and flipping over, and Ned fell in love. So he offered the stranger a crisp ten dollar bill and walked off with a box of turtles.

“So what you’re telling me is that you bought turtles from a guy in an alleyway.” Peter pinched the bridge of his nose, if he wasn’t so tired he would be laughing. Maybe.  
  
“Peterrr- have you seen them? I couldn’t let some weirdo in an alleyway-who technically wasn't _inside_ the alley, he was standing outside it- do weird things to these babies! Or sell them to the wrong person. They’re lucky they have me.” Ned wrapped an arm around Peters shoulder and pulled him in a tight hug, “Us. They have us. We’re  they’re parents now. Plus our landlord gave us the ok to have small pets!”  
  
“Nooo. No. Please Ned, I can barely take care of myself right now.” sinking to his knees and out of Ned’s grasp Peter leaned over the edge of the bathtub, peering into Turtle Paradise. Ned had filled up enough of the tub so that one end had a shallow pool of water and the other end was dry. “Also, I’m sure when our landlord gave us the permission to have small pets, I’m positive they didn’t mean we could fill our tub with turtles.”

“It was for the greater good.”  
  
Not knowing what else to say to Ned, Peter rolled his eyes and got up and went straight to bed. If Peter was going to be the father of ten turtles he’d deal with it in the morning.

* * *

  
  
In the morning, after two plates of leftover pasta from Aunt May Peter told Ned that they couldn’t keep all of the turtles.  
  
“What do you mean, we can’t give away our children!”  
  
Placing his plate and the empty tupperware bowl that the pasta was in originally in the skin, Peter looked over at Ned and said, “Well, I don’t know about you but I would eventually love to be able to take a shower.”  
  
“That’s fine! We can take them out while we take showers that way they can get some exercise in and we don't crush them.”  
  
“Ned, no.” Walking up to his friend and grabbing his face, Peter’s palms at his cheeks, he squeezed enough so that Ned’s pout was extra pouty. “Listen to me. We can _not_ keep ten turtles in our tub.” Opening his mouth Ned was going to say something but Peter just squeezed his face a little more shushing him in the process. “We can keep one. BUT, we gotta get an actual tank for it. We can’t just keep it in the tub.”

Ned was nodding his head vigorously, cheeks still held between Peter’s hands.  
  
Letting go of his face Peter turned back to the sink to wash the dishes, because if he didn't do it now they would never get done.  
  
“Also in case you didn’t know. Those baby turtles can live up twenty years. Ned, _twenty years._ ” patting wet hands dry with a hand towel Peter shook his head, “I don’t know about you but I will _not_ be fathering ten turtles for twenty plus years.”  
  
Ned, Sadly, plunked himself down onto the couch.  
  
“Man, honestly I don’t know what I was thinking. Like I knew that, deep down inside, I knew keeping all of these turtles was not going to be a thing. But I saw them and I feel into their deep black eyes.” Ned was dramatically splaying himself across the couch, “They were only $1 each, how is anyone going to make a profit like that? What if they’re like, mutated or something?” he gasped and sharply looked a Peter, “What if that guy snatched them from their mother?”

The honest terror on Ned’s face was actually quite comical and Peter tried his best to keep a straight face while munching on a protein bar he had pulled out from the pantry while Ned was being over dramatic. Swallowing he tried to pacify Ned’s worries, “Well, they looked fine in the tub, and they weren't glowing or anything so I’m sure they’re fine. And even if the guy who was selling them was a reptile cradle robber there's not much we can do about that.”  
  
"How about we try and find the guy again? We can catch him the act!"  
  
"How about we go to class instead?"

Ned sulked. Peter finished his protein bar with another bite.

Peter and Ned made sure all the turtles were still safely in the tub with scattered pieces of lettuce and fruit, left their apparent, hopped on the train to campus with only one delay and some time to spare.  
  
“So since we both get out of class early today did you want to meet up for a bit after to try and give away the kid’s before you run to the Bugle?” Ned asked around a some granola Peter had given him when they got onto campus.  
  
Around his own mouthful Peter agreed and they were off to class.

* * *

  
About an hour and thirty minutes or so later found both Peter and Ned with a box of turtles in upper Manhattan. Peter gave a quick call to May asking is she would like a turtle, but it wasn’t a surprise when she laughed through the receiver, told Peter she loved him and said she needed to get back to work promptly hanging up. Growing up Peter had wanted all sorts of pets he’s asked frequently for a dog or a cat or a rabbit, the answer was always a quick _no_ . Once Peter tried dragging in a small garden snake into the home but May caught him real quick, screaming _“Peter Benjamin Parker, so help me if you bring that snake inside this home!”_ While Ben chucked into his mug at the dinning table, he would shake his head and calmly tell Peter to put the snake back, or the lizards and bugs he also tried to bring home. As a child he would mope and drag his feet around the house until he got over it an hour later and moved on with his life and played with his legos.  
  
Now Peter understood why his aunt and uncle refused year after year. Taking care of an animal is expensive and time consuming, something his family couldn't do at the time.

Neither Ned’s parents nor Aunt May wanted a turtle, and apparently no one else in New York. They had texted MJ before on the way to campus, asking if she wanted a turtle but all they got back was one laughing-while-simultaneously-laughing emoji.  
  
A kid had walked up earlier to look at the turtles but their parent just dragged the kid away glaring at the two guys with nine turtles in a box.  
  
Peter was holding the box while Ned was trying to get people to look in the box and grab a turtle _for free_ . They weren’t even charging. Peter just wanted the little guys gone and in a way teach Ned not to buy random animals for ten dollars from strangers. Although Peter understands that what they were doing could be seen as hypocritical, but at least they weren’t charging anyone for the turtles.  
  
Coming up to Peter and looking into the box sadly, Ned exclaimed, “This is lame. No one is going to grab a turtle, we’re doomed to be fathers to the turtles for like twenty years. We _can’t_ release them into the wild, then we’ll be like everyone else, bad parents who let dump their kids ponds! I can’t do that Peter, we can’t be those people. ”  
  
“Ok Ned calm down, we're not going to dump them in a pond, plus I have an idea.”

* * *

 

“What the hell is that?” Happy looked on suspiciously at Peters bag.  
  
Tightening his grip on his overly large duffel bag peter responded, “It’s just extra clothes since the ones that I, uhh, have over at the compound are getting small. I think I’m getting taller?”

_Getting taller at 21, yeah, good one Peter. Happy will_ Totally _believe that one._  
  
Happy looked on at the bag skeptically for another second then shrugged it off, “Sure kid, just get in the car so we can get to the compound ASAP I got things to do.”  
  
The trip to the compound went as per usual, a lot of chatting on Peter’s part, half responses and grunting on Happy’s. Everything was normal. Except Peter couldn’t help but glance down to his bag every couple of minute. He and Ned had put all the turtles in a big enough bin -definitely _not_ May’s borrowed tupperware container- with a lid that Peter punctured with probably more holes than necessary. Despite wanting to get rid of the turtles he didn’t want to accidentally harm them, and putting them in a bin, inside a closed dark bag was making him nervous.

When Happy pulled up to the building Peter hopped on out while thanking Happy for the ride. He made it all the way to his room Tony had specifically decked out for him and gently placed the bag on the bed, pulling out the tupperware container that the turtles were in. They looked fine some, squirming around others still. Popping the lid off Peter took them the the bathroom connected to his room and gently placed each turtle in the sink.

_Phase One complete._  
  
With the turtles safe and secure in the sink, Peter went to tony’s lab. The two tinkered a bit, Tony worked on a suit, and Peter messed around with his web shooters and played around with Dum-E while chattering. A not so unusual Saturday night.  
  
“So, uh, the squad is all here?” Peter asked, drumming two pencils while leaning back on a chair by one leg.  
  
Tony raised a brow, “Squad? Yeah kid the _squad_ is all here. But I'm pretty sure you knew that, so what's up”  
  
“Hah, sweet just making sure. Wanda said she wanted to watch a movie and then we thought it would be nice to watch it all together, ya know?”  
  
“Ok, yeah sure kid, sounds good. Team bonding, great.”  
  
“Yeah! It’s gonna be a blast Mr. Stark.” glancing at the clock Peter let the chair fall back on all four legs, “I’m gonna go take a shower. Like I feel all gross and sweaty from patrolling before coming here and I didn’t get to shower and all that.” Peter backed up to the door and waved as he went out, “Catch ya later!”  
  
“Ok?” Tony shook his head, he knew the kid was up to something but he’s just shrugged it off for now and went back to his suit.  
  
_Time for Phase Two_ .

* * *

 

Back at his bathroom sink, Peter grabbed two of the turtles and made his way to everyone's rooms. All the rooms where surprisingly empty when he entered-with a little bit of persuading of FRIDAY. Since everyone had their own bathroom Peter placed each turtle in each sink with a detailed note on how to take care of the turtles, explaining what they ate what size tank they should be kept in etc.. In Tony's sink Peter place two turtles.   
  
Dusting off his hands Peter considered Phase two a mission success, he thanked FRIDAY for the AI's assistance and went back to his own room to take a shower because he actually needed one.  
  
he went out into the “living room” area where they had a projector to watch the movie and the best couches to sit and nap on ever. No one said anything about a turtle so Peter knew he was in the clear but he was suspecting not for long. He ate and watched a mindless action film with the team and honestly had loads of fun, he gave Wanda a private high five for a successful team bonding experience. They planned another movie night for sometime next month, and then Peter dipped. His excuse that he had some forgotten coursework which wasn't far from the truth.  
  
“It was really nice hanging out with everyone like this, we gotta make movie nights a thing! Like for real, for real.”  
  
After exchanging a few bye's and handing out a few hugs Peter was gone and Happy was back to grumbling all the way back into the city. Peter was relieved with the fact that he dropped all the turtles off without having been caught red handed. He swore FRIDAY to secrecy and made sure she wouldn’t rat him out after he left, not that it would take a genius to figure out Peter was the culprit.

Back at home Peter laid on the couch, textbook on his chest while Ned fixed up their new turtle son a proper home.   
  
“So they’re safe and sound?” Ned looked over to Peter, pausing his ministrations of fixing Boba’s tank.  
  
“I'm sure they're going to be the safest turtles on this planet.”

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry if it felt rushed towards the end of it I had no idea what else to do and believe it or not I spent over a month on this and it was killing me. This was supposed to be short and sweet but yikes 
> 
> Anyway if you want to drop a comment and let me know if any of this was worth it I would greatly appreciate it  
> thanks for reading !  
> <3


End file.
